S q u a l o r

finally talked to me. Little by little these memories keep flooding back to my mind. As if the perfume i liked in 2007 wasn't enough to zonk me back to the past. During those times where our love was evident & strong. Infatuation you say. A long time i took to forget those short times i spent with you. Good times, those were good times.

"When i'm with you, bells go off my head"  
"Like a moving truck thats backing up"'. I was going to give it to you, but a thousand times, the moment hadn't been right. It was those little things i liked doing, to make you smile.

Remember this? It is still in my backpocket.

To carbsaregoot.blogspot.com

this is for you.

Hello guys.
I just got back from having Sushi with Zoan. (my treat) and also developed all the pictures taken in Australia. Cost me a bomb. Now, chatting. I can only hear Nick but i can't see him. lollll. His webcam isn't working. Hahaha. Well i guess i can only see him in Aus ): See Nick ? i am such a kind person. I forgive you and your crappy webcam. For now.

Yeah so i was walking towards the living room and i see my sis, sitting on her potty with tears in her eyes, watching 'Finding Nemo'. I ask her why she was crying and she gave me the shut-up-i'm-tryna-watch-nemo-here look and i... well i shut up. Then she verbally insulted me calling me a stupid, good for nothing. " I am not crying ! This always happen when i shit! " and the final 'tsk' in everything she says.

I don't deserve this. I don't. ): i just spent my 50 bucks on two Dvds and a pack of Uno cards. Anyone up for a cheesy korean love story ?

I am not going to brag about my results here. (lol)

I have never cried so hard in my life before. Spent 2 hours in the bathroom, crying with my ipod on Sarah McLachlan's Fallen (replaying it over and over again) and finished one box of tissue myself. I usually cry to myself because it hurts to let my mum and dad see me crying. once my mom caught me crying in my bed and i had to lie to her and say i had a really bad tummy ache. My eyes sting now that i've stopped. I slept for an hour after drowning my heart in alcohol. Even the smell is enough to zonk me out. I feel ...mellow now. Feels like i've been fed a hell lot of chocolates to calm me down. I feel warm, sick with fever. My eyes are swollen and face, moist of all the tears.

I realised i'm like a pencil. you keep sharpening me, but i'll never be sharp enough.

Just listen to the lyrics.



Heaven bend to take my hand and lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way, I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

(Chorus)
Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come 'round here and
Tell me I told you so

We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear

(Chorus)
Ohh

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads, embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one miss step, one slip, before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

(Chorus)

She looks like... you.


Naughty jessica ! she's mixed blood of eurasian and...nepalese.


Vineyard.



These were pretty sour.








kawaii des su na ? x)

awesome awesome song.

i.cannot.stand.jerks. And by jerks i mean

1) ones whom want to go out with you when they're already attached.
2) ones whom want to date my friends when they are already attached.


i am not refering to anyone out there, reading my blog. (although i might. wait, that didn't make any sense.) But seriously? You can just jolly well fuck off. And i mean it. Once someone really gets in my skin, i like to rub it in..really hardly and tell him/her just how much hate i have for them by sharing with them my sarcasm. And believe me, my sarcasm hurts. Badly. And after getting hit by one of these, you won't want to talk to me for the rest of your life.

Unless that is, if you're really thick skinned. then i'd have to shove my fist up your ass, literally till you never know what hit ya.

I attract jerks, i realised. This is very sad..

I HATE GUYS. GO AWAY PLEASE. Next time a guy asks me out, i'll just tell him i'm a lesbian. right. Set.

Now don't go saying bullshit stuffs like "i wasn't asking you out, we're just friends." cause i'm done with that. Been there before. And i'm experienced at these come and go relationship issues. And we girls aren't toys to be played around with. we like to be handled with care.

Go ahead, you're probably fuming with anger or think i might just be stupid/crazy whatever. But you don't know what i've been through, what my friends have been through, neither do you lead my life. I'd prefer things to be this way.

but i'm never willing to risk my heart/friends again. And if you still don't understand. Well..i suggest you forget about it. STUPIDO.

Anyway its 2 am now and i just finished uploading pictures from the chalet. I love Jac cause she likes making faces.

Face no. 1 : (the bedroom)



Face no. 2: (the toilet)



Face no. 3 : (the living room)



Entertaining. No ? Lucky bitch's got her victoria secret's top from the US. Hmph. For that you shall clean the floor. "Mariah!"







Mita likes this mode. Cause " It makes us look pale! just like Bella from twilight!" - quoted.










i gots a blog fanz. :D I'm adding this comment box if it works. HAHA.

AhYao says i look like Coco Lee. ROFL. Him and his nonsense. -___- Coco lee is far more hot. far more attractive, far more skinny. etc, you get the point.





thats me. No, seriously.

So far, life has been more like a fairy tale. I've made such good friends(not mice or birds) whom i don't deserve. I just don't. I've fallen deeply in love and harshly out of love with a man whom i don't deserve at all. I denied our love because i thought you could have better but not because i've stopped loving you. I want to start this year afresh. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I want to appreciate everything and not take it for granted. I want to love people the way they love me. I shall forgive, but never forget. I shall still be there for you to make up for the times i wasn't. You haven't been around much in my life, why then only after an hour in your company, do i feel your absence more acutely ?

look at my crappy hair.

hello peoplez. Today i went Orchard for the first time ! in 2009. and since i came back from Aussie. Anyway, Orchard was crowded (as usual) and i got stares, from AHLIANZ. i don't know whats their problem with me. Like seriously, keep your eyes to yourself man. I hate getting those, its rude. I also HATE it when people rush into trains without letting those alighting go out first. What the hell is THEIR problem.

GEEZ. i love typing in caps.

Yeh, i went to meet Zoan cause its been eons since i last met/talked to her. Still very skinny, still the same. (this is the part when my door just slammed and i got...pretty shocked.) I really missed those times when we were pretty close. Ate at swensens - is that how you spell it? I had black pepper seafood pasta and she had steak. Yummy!

Oh and we did our usual tradition of tasting each other's lunch. Hahahaha.

OH YEAH, and there was this Malay dude waiter with the hideous fake glasses. What? so now its cool to have poor eyesight? Whats up with that man? The one with bars across each frame is worse. God, can they even see anything? never seen such ugly in my life.

The malay dude was seriously, very very annoying. He kept coming to our table, smiling at me, refilling tissues (there were still many infact, alot left) and i was like, "thanks" and he was.. " NO PROBLEM ! NO PROBLEM !" Zoan told me, weird. Yes, weird. And i wasn't finished eating and he came again, "miss, can i clear your plate are you done?" and i said i wasn't.
I saw his friends giggling. Making fun of me. wow, i really care.

its been quite long since we took neopints together. HAHAHA. i lost two bets with Zoan. Fuck.

1st bet:
We were in the Mrt, and she said " hey its gonna open from over here. " and i said " Nono, its here i swear, its gonna open from here! wanna bet ? " And i lost 1 buck.

2nd bet:
i was really confident the neoprint shop was at the second floor. And i was like all " You'r gonna lose! I want my one buck back. Haha, its just right here... what the fuck ?" yeah, and it wasn't. Gone..gone my two bucks i tell you. It was a rather stupid moment.

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Zoan loves her steak.
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I AM NOT A CREEPY BABY. sucky editing by the way. We lost our once-pro-at-editing skills.

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I love pink ! (: thaaaaank you.

Aloha dudes. 1st post of 2009 ! Wud up ya'll. I am just goofing around in facebook and myspace because,

1) i'm bored.
2) i'm lazy to go out.
3) i can't be bothered to do anything else.

What a mundane thursday. And i used to think i liked thursdays. Nice shows on the tele. i dunno. just...nice. Grey's Anatomy. And comedy from cable. right now, chatting with Ryan. He's always sending links of terribly funny japanese game shows on the net. Try searching Gaki No Tsukai on youtube. It got me laughing for hours, literally.

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Why not ? Me is my friend.

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Cause some guys just don't understand.

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One word, DISGUSTING.

Us girls we are so magical, soft skin, good lips so kissable. Hard to resist, so touchable.

My comments on the movie Twilight? Sucky. i am so relieved i didn't waste my 9.50 bucks for the ticket. (though i still have the free movie ticket) Just go to movie6.net people. If you don't mind watching crap quality that is. Seriously, the book is so much better ! i know you lazy asses don't read so, theres only so much i can say. But i would totally recommend it to fellow geeks like muah, whom love reading (:

I hate cramps. 2008 is going to end. So what? 2009 is going to be there right? So relax people, it isn't the end of the world, yet. I have no resolutions, i never had any. Why make one when you aren't going to stick with it for long? People change their mind frequently and so does life. -_- i don't know why everyone's being hyped about the end of 2008.

Think about it, start of school (for some), end of relationships (for some), and other crappy things you've to start doing again. But such is life, no one can avoid it.

AND WHATS THE HYPE WITH EDWARD CULLEN PEOPLE? he isn't handsome. i just think you guys are attracted to him because of his protective,loving,caring character in Twilight. Hello? Its just acting. geez, get over it already and stop whining about how you'll die if you gaze into his eyes to me in my msn already.

i dont give two fucks about how nice his eyes are.

UNLESS (notice the caps) Unless he's as good looking as him :

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now, thats some hot stuff.

Belated Merry xmas from Sg all. as you can see, i've turned very very tan. More like orange. I was told, someone called me yellow. Wow, she just might be colour blind. I mean yellow? who the hell mistakes orange with yellow? Anyway i'd rather BE yellow instead of being black right? And at least my face isn't covered with ugly red splotches which resemble maps of foreign countries. Sorry girl, but i think i won this time round. So step out of my way, bitch.

Geez. Why am i wasting my time again?

So mita and i decided to spend xmas eve together but then postphoned it to the next day. Don't you really hate it when someone messages and cancels stuffs at the last minute and doesn't even apologise? i do. Seriously, we were pretty pissed. Really pissed off.

i guess three IS a crowd.

Here are the pictures at Sakae.

Does anybody see any yellow? Cause i don't.



flawless, no crusty splotches at all unlike someone's...



the only person who has earned my trust, seriously. 

Damn flickr isn't working. I think my Aunt's laptop is getting old or its infected with virus. This is so making me miss my super fast lappy back in SG. Speaking of which, i'll be back on, Tues. Bad news is, i'll be leaving again after i get my results. May/might stay around for a month or two, but college starts pretty early here in Aus so, no time. Oh and it snows in June here. WEIRD.

I'll miss you bimbos ): and some, guys too (although i can't think of any). I want to become gay. Scratch that, a lesbian. But i see no attraction in boobies and all. NOT that i have any interest in a guys...wee wee. Cause guys just plain suck.

Anyway, we drove to the vineyards yesterday. From Burwood to...Hunter Valley, thats really far. 3 hour drive. My uncle went beyond the speed limit of 110km/h. He drove 180km/h. GEEZ, so fast i seriously thought we were gonna crash somewhere. I guess everyone's a little impatient. If you think that was fast, well guess what? We were OVER TAKEN by another car which was driving at 200km/h. Siao i tell you.

unfortunately, some police were patroling around that area and they stopped the car, and my uncle quickly decelerated. -_- we sho lucky.

My mom and i indulged in some wine tasting. and then, she bought 5 bottles of wine. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? 5 bottles. Such a waste of money. $300 to infiltrate your liver with toxic.

OMG seriously, its really slow. i guess i'll upload them when i return to my super duper fast lappy because its 2 in the mornin and i'm drained.

ciao

Hey guys! i just got back from the Taronga Zoo a few hours ago. Bindi the jungle girl! My mom cannot pronounce the word "Taronga" so she prefers to call it "The Irwin Zoo". unfortunately my nail broke.. but its all bandaged up now. Ugly. We had plans to get up at 11 in the morning to head to the zoo, but i woke up at 12. bummer. i was ready by 12.30. (Trust me i was still in my sleep when i was changing) and thirty minutes is like..world record. I was really hungry, i could eat a cow. lugubrious lugubrious journey.

So its 12 am now and i'm.....still in my make up. would love to upload the lovely pictures of, kangarooooz, koala, meercats, pigs, etc. Especially the really fluffy chicken i saw but i think i forgot to snap a piccy of it because i got distracted by a friggin peacock. But my camera is dead. Literally. so am i. I hope i can recharge it tml.

Note to self : Guys working in the zoo are cuter.

anywaaaay, i spent the whole day drawing yesterday night after refusing to go to my relative's house for dinner. Seriously, i hate family gatherings. Its too..formal. The food isn't good either. I'd pick baby tomatoes over their bland dinner. No offence Sue, but you know how much i hate tomatoes. ): Yuck.

So i guess i should send these pictures to Jeff. i'm thinking of getting the dark princess as my tattoo next year. Should think about it first. care.fully. maybe i might change my mind. I drew a fairy once, and a female skull. But kelly took it and said she "CHOP" it as hers. ):

tsk. Nvmz, i draw another one lo.

Neat huh, although i'm not that good yet..







i love the way my uncle drives. I mean, the highways here allow 120km/h. Thats pretty fast. He doesn't like the AC on, neither do i. So its the wind blowing our hair all they way for an hour. I told him i shall get my license next year and he said he'll get me a yellow car. I was like "Fo real?" but he started laughing while saying its difficult to pass a driver's license.

its not even funny.

Geez.

write and post about my shopping items soon bitches! keep in contact through mails.
xoxo
sibby ;O

The sign says "Dogs totally prohibited". I hope thats a service dog. But that old man isn't blind. Probably companionship.








people actually live nearby...








The ocean waters are really cold. Below is the picture near a farm, can't see much but i think my other camera has more.





Pictures above were taken by nikkon D40, below ones are taken by D90. i don't know whats the difference though.











Three sisters. It was really misty when we got there. So it looks like as if my cam was dirty.





Ok, so i don't know how to explain this.. but it was a 'Limbu' picnic. My surname, yes. the clothes they are wearing are traditional outfits worn by the 'Limbus'.





looks more like a tribal dance to me.. rofl.